I’m a great mom.
So what, I haven’t taught him how to blow a kiss or give a high-five… I’m still a great mom (even though I didn’t feel like a great mom when his uncle was trying to get him to blow a kiss and high-five last night….).
I love him unconditionally. I’m there when he needs me – even (or especially) at 4am when he’s been up crying for 2 hours with a tooth coming in. I fret over the simplest decisions (ie: feeling like a bad mom when I give him beef stew, gasp, TWO NIGHTS IN A ROW), and lose sleep over difficult ones (h1n1 vaccine anyone?) (which we have decided against). I teach him everything I can think of (and as a mom, I’m teaching him even when I don’t think I am. And am teaching him by example. So there’s a segue into a future post on swearing. F*ck.), I take him outside in the chilly air and rainy days for long walks because even though I don’t feel like it… he LOVES it. I drive him around for 2 hours in the car when I know we’ll be out late – to make sure he gets a nap. (How many times a week do I hit the Starbucks drive through I wonder?). My whole life is about loving him, protecting him, teaching him, raising him, and just doing what’s best for him.
And I would imagine alot of you reading this feel the exact same.
So I wonder how the other moms view me as they witness my 10-month old son crawl over to their child and promptly poke them in the eye. Or pull their hair. And I sit there like a deer in the headlights, kinda panicking on the inside not really sure what to do about it, other than squeak out the words, “Oscar, be gentle”, and gently remove his hand (or their hair from his vice-like grip). I mean, it would be a different thing altogether if he was 13 and picked a fight. But he’s 10-months old and is just being a 10-month old. He’s just discovered pointing, so all he does, constantly, is point at anything and everything and sometimes that pointing at things is directly in a little friends’ EYE.
And then there’s the times when their little ones crawl over to Oscar and promptly do the same. It happened yesterday at the playground. A cute little guy was hanging out with Oscar and reached up and grabbed his hair. Before his mom could even notice, I think, I said, “Oh, gentle now”. And I felt like it really wasn’t my place, but it was automatic. I wasn’t scolding by any means (as far as I’m concerned, there’s not a reason in the world to scold a 10-month old), just automatically said it.
Was that wrong of me? If someone else had of said that to Oscar, I wouldn’t mind (at least I don’t think I would).
Or am I just making a mountain our of a molehill?
What the hell am I going to do when the days of pushing and shoving and not sharing come along.
Sigh.
