Now that Oscar is almost one year old, I’m ready to start doing things for myself again.
*GASP*
The first year of his life, well, it was all about him. And rightly so. I mean, of COURSE it’s all about him, but what I’m trying to get at is that various choices and decisions we made simply limited my ability to be away from him, ie: exclusively breastfeeding, no baby sitters, etc etc. And it’s all good, I’m delighted that we made those choices. Oscar and I have quite the attachment. And now that he’s becoming more “independent” and stretching his wings, I can stretch mine a bit too.
Here are a few things on my to-do list. And to do now, not someday. Nope, this is an immediate game plan.
1. Join a gym. Or something. I’m so tired of NOT finding clothes that fit me, in this new post-baby body. I’m tired of spending way too much money on clothes that just don’t look good, or clothes that I only wear a few times and THEN realize they just don’t look good (how f*cking embarrassing. I used to be so fashion forward and pulled together. Now I’m just a hot mess.). Instead of all that (and frustration!), I may put that money into a gym membership. Maybe. Gym’s make me nervous. But that’s a WHOLE other story.
2. I’m going to get out with my best gal pal more often. We were chatting the other night and realized that we’ve GOT to get together more. We’re aiming for at least 2 nights a month or so. We really miss each other and we really miss adult conversation… not to mention opening a bottle of wine and solving all the world’s problems!
3. I’ve joined a mom group. Well, it’s a baby group, but our kids are still all too young to really engage with each other, so it’s more of a mom group. I haven’t really connected with any of the moms in any sense of the word, but it’s SO NICE just to chat with other adults! Even just listening to them chatting amongst each other makes me feel better and more connected… and less like a retard for not realizing when my son started waking up during the night that MAYBE HE WAS HUNGRY for crying out loud. Because, by listening to other mom’s, it’s happened to them too. We’re not retards. We’re just sleep-deprived moms who lost a few brain cells at birth. That’s all.
4. And finally on my list? My husband and I are going to try to get out together more. Once or twice a month (probably once) we’re going to do dinner or grab a coffee and walk Robson, or whatever. But we’re ready to leave our precious little guy with my auntie for a few evenings here and there so we can get out and enjoy each other. And by “enjoy”, I totally mean “ignore each other, together, while window shopping and sipping lattes on Robson”.
When did you start taking time for yourself again? In what ways? Did you find it difficult at first to be away from your little one, even for a few hours? How did you reconnect with your spouse after baby? TALK TO ME!
When did I start taking time for myself?…Um….Still working on that one actually. Your list is pretty much what my list would be like too. I think it’s really important to make time for yourself. I hope you’re more successful that I’ve been!
Stephanie – regarding the gym fear, here’s what I did. When my youngest son was about O’s age, I got the Wii Fit (the original) in dec 08 with my goal to use it for weight loss. I used it almost every other day for the first few months, and then more sporadically as we went through bouts of either not feeling well, bad nights or sick kids. Along with watching what I eat, and increasing my water intake, I lost over 20 pounds in a year, just using the Wii Fit. I probably could have lost more if I used it more often. A friend of mine started just after me and she lost 50 lbs by using it 6 days a week and cleaning up her diet.
Needless to say it worked for me. It worked because I could do it at home and fit it in the schedule when I could and it would entertain my youngest. I would never have a chance (or afford to) go to a gym to get regular exercise. So that was a big plus for me
I just got the EA Active and am halfway through my first 30 day Challenge. It is definitely more of a workout than the wii fit, though I have yet to see the scale move significantly. But I find the set up (preselected exercises, variety and goal making) to be motivating, and I haven’t struggled to keep up with it. The wii fit is more fun and entertaining though – it doesn’t feel like you are exercising, and the new fit plus version does have limited routine abilities and calorie counting. The Fit keeps track of your weight via the balance board though and graphs it, something the Active does not do. So I use a combo of both.
So this may be an option for you to consider, at least until you feel comfortable heading to the gym. The best part too is that I finally got my figure back (the hula hoop on the Fit helps tons with that!) We put our bodies through such ordeal when we are pregnant. I haven’t looked like I do now since my film days of heavy physical labor day in day out!
And as far as making time for yourself, it’s hard but you have to do it, especially when you work at home and the work is always calling your name. We wear so many hats – mother, wife, coworker, friend, that it pulls us in all sorts of directions that stop us from thinking about ourselves. Weaning helps tremendously in regaining your sense of self (having your body to yourself is a great thing after 2+ years of belonging to baby!) For us, the kids go to bed very early (bad sleepers oblige) so evenings are for us. Even if we are just vegging out in front of the TV or watching a movie, we try to limit the time we spend doing chores (the house will be a mess again once our 2 tornadoes wake up anyway!) and take the time to relax.
OMG Izzy, thanks for your great comment! The Wii is a fantastic idea! The real shift for me though, came when you mentioned having your body back to yourself after weaning. I never thought of it that way. A huge A-Ha moment. That switches the dynamics BIG TIME. Will tweet you when I manage to get my thoughts about it written into a post! Can’t thank you enough.